Mama B: A Domestic Adoption Story

Beginnings

Our adoption journey began back in December of 2010 when my husband, Jeremy, and I attended an informational meeting. After learning we were not able to have biological children, we breezed through the home study process with the anticipation that a child of our own was finally in our sights.

After being presented several situations but never the one that felt “just right,” in February 2012 we signed up with a second adoption agency in Texas. Two weeks later we got a call saying that a birthmother had seen our profile and wanted to speak with us on the phone. We were elated.

We learned more about the birthmother’s situation and couldn’t help but get excited about the possibility of finally being matched. We began to prepare for the most important meeting of our lives.

Because of the distance between us, we scheduled a conference call two days later.

Meeting B

We didn’t know what exactly to expect since we had never made it to this point before. We were immediately put at ease the moment we started speaking to B, the birthmother. We were in awe of her bravery, maturity, and intelligence as she led the conversation and asked us questions about ourselves, our family and our life.

We asked her some questions about how she was feeling and what types of things she liked to do.

The more and more we spoke, the more we had in common. After we hung up, the social worker called us back almost immediately and said that we officially had a match. She explained that the birth mother had felt such a deep connection with us.

B loved that we enjoyed spending time outdoors and traveling, much like her. She also felt a connection with my husband because he is a volunteer firefighter. She explained to the social worker that she has a deep history of firefighters in her family. She even had noticed in our profile that our nursery was painted in her favorite color.

A Growing Connection

Over the next several months I continued to text B. Our connection grew deeper as she shared with us ultrasound pictures, updates on doctor’s appointments and pictures of her growing belly. My husband and I still stayed somewhat guarded knowing that she could change her mind at any point, but the excitement and anticipation of our dreams finally coming true outweighed the uncertainty of the situation.

When the time finally arrived for our baby girl to be born in June 2012, we made the trip down to Texas and finally got to meet B in person. It was surreal but we felt like we had known each other for years. B brought us some family heirlooms to give to our baby girl when she was older.

She shared with us pictures and stories of family history. We clung on to her every word as we knew this was part of our baby’s history and always would be.

The next day we met at the hospital for our baby to be born. B allowed me to be in the room during delivery and even let me cut the umbilical cord. Her actions only prove how comfortable she was with her decision. Despite her unfortunate situation, she was thrilled to see how happy and excited we were to become parents.

Saying Goodbye

At the hospital, the goodbye was the most difficult part. The future of our relationship with the woman we had grown to love and respect so much, the woman who had given us the most precious gift, the woman who had made the one most important decision of her life which completely changed the course of ours, was so uncertain.

As we said our goodbyes, all I could think about was how thankful I was to have all of these memories, interactions, and pictures to share with my daughter Grace someday. I’ll be able to wholeheartedly tell her about how much Mama B loved her, cared for her and truly wanted what was best for her in life.

Mama B will always be part of our family and we continue some communication to this day; it may be less and less frequent but that doesn’t mean I don’t see her in the face of my daughter and think about her all the time. The day we met, we gained not only one family member but two.

The holidays would not have been complete without our precious daughter. We are eternally thankful to the woman who has completed our family and made all of our dreams come true.