Honoring Birth Mother’s Day and Birth Father’s Day
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Originally posted – 5/7/2020
As Spring approaches, there are many holidays that encourage family celebration and we want to share with you the important days that are dedicated to recognizing and celebrating birth parents. Not everyone is aware of these special days that recognize birth families, so it is important to share this with those around you. The Saturday before Mother’s Day and the Saturday before Father’s Day are recognized as Birth Mother Day and Birth Father Day.
Although we do not need a single day to express our love for the important people in our lives, it is a great opportunity to be intentional in taking some time with your child to honor their birth parents. This is a day to celebrate the birth mothers and birth fathers who made the courageous, loving, and selfless decision to place their child for adoption. This decision is allowing families all around the world to be able to experience one of life’s greatest joys.
Ways to Celebrate:
1. Telling your child their adoption story:
Taking the time and talking with your child about their adoption story is important. This is a great way to educate them about where they came from. Every child is going to have their own unique situation which makes this even more exciting for them to hear. You could even take this time to create an adoption story photo book with your child and dedicate at least one page to the birth family.
You could plant a tree or a flower in honor of your child’s birth parents. Also, if your child is feeling ambitious, they could even decorate the pot that the plant is in. Decorations on the pot could be a variety of different crafts such as painting, coloring or even adding important pictures that they have.
3. Writing a letter/draw a picture:
You could take the time out of your day to write your birth family a letter of appreciation. You can also include artwork from the child. You can give this to them personally, mail it to them or even give it to your agency to mail to them if it is not an open adoption. Another creative idea is to draw a family picture including the birth family and hang it up. These are both very simple ways to celebrate your child’s birth family on this day.
4. Have a picnic:
Another great idea for celebrating your child’s birth family is to have a picnic in their honor. Some families have a yearly picnic to get together and celebrate their birth family. If you have openness in the adoption, you could invite the birth family to this picnic. If you do not have openness, you can still celebrate this day and take time to share your love and appreciation for the birth family with your child.
5. Spread Awareness:
Another thing that can be done to celebrate this day is spread some awareness on the topic of birth parents. You could listen to stories of birth parents through podcasts or blogs and share them with those around you. There are many misconceptions about adoption, especially about the journey for birth parents. This day can be an opportunity for you to increase the knowledge of those around you and publicly recognize these today.
Language is important to think about when discussing your child’s adoption process.
There is both positive and negative language that is commonly used in these discussions. We need to focus more on using the positive language as best we can.
|Positive Language||Negative Language|
|Birth parent/first parent||Real parent|
|Biological parent||Natural parent|
|Birth child||Own child|
|My child||Adopted child|
|Make an adoption plan||Give away/put up|
|Was adopted||Is adopted|
|Intercountry adoption||Foreign adoption|
|Separated from parents||Abandoned/rejected|
|Adoptee will have a different life||Adoptee will have a better life|
There are many ways that you can celebrate and recognize your child’s birth parents on these days. Telling your child their adoption story, planting a flower/tree, writing them a letter, having a picnic and spreading awareness are just some of the simple ways that you can celebrate your child’s birth parents.
You can also make your own tradition and celebrate it in your own unique way. The important thing is that you are taking some time out of these days to celebrate and appreciate your birth family. They are important people in your life and should be celebrated and recognized for their courageous decision.
EVOLVE Family Services
Lead Social Worker- Pregnancy Services
Samantha is an intern at EVOLVE and a student at the University of Wisconsin River Falls.